Happy Birthday Shadow!!!

Today would have Shadow's birthday if she was still here.  Every year on her birthday Jay would make sure she got a hamburger to celebrate her special day!!!  So, of course, we could not let the day pass without taking a moment to celebrate. In your honor today....... hamburgers, cheese burgers, and hot dogs!!!Happy Birthday Girl!!!  Heaven sure is lucky to have you.... but we sure do miss you!!!

Last Day of School!!

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Back to Blogging

I was recently looking at this blog and realized how much I missed it.  It had become such a fun way to journal and the kids loved being able to see it as well.  So I am going to try and get back into it.  I have a lot of things to cover and the best part of it all....... It is the beginning of summer vacation and we are up for some fun adventures.  What a fun way to start out.

This will be quick and short.  I am a bit worn out of the end of the school year stuff.  But I had to post this picture.  Of course this is my post of the first day of school and the last day of school.  For those who may not recognize where we are in the bottom picture I will tell you.  We were at DISNEYLAND!!!  We absolutely love that place so what a better way to start out vacation than to go and spend the afternoon and evening at truly ," the happiest place on earth."    Or as Bryan once stated, "heaven on earth."  We had a blast!!!  And honestly, we think that this was the best way to celebrate finishing the 8th grade, 7th grade and 6th grade.

Slideshow of our adventure to follow.  But for now..... can you believe how grown up my "babies" have become.  Rest well all!!!

Tinkerbell 1/2 Marathon Weekend

It is true!!!  I completed the Tinkerbell 1/2 marathon.  I ran this race a year ago and was getting ready to run the Santa Barbara 1/2 marathon.  But during the Tough Mudder in Vegas, I managed to become one big bruise and hurt my hip.  I tore my right labrum and was told that I may never run again.  I did not like that answer so I went and got a second opinion.  After some physical therapy , and patience I did it!!!  I was very excited.  A little tired but excited.  It also proved to be my best time yet!!! 

I am so lucky to have such a great cheering section behind me to get me through those last couple of miles.  Knowing that I get to great these wonderful faces at the finish line is the best!!!

Nathan asked me if I won the race.  I am trying to teach them that if they want something bad enough they can have it, if they do not give up and are willing to work hard.  So my response to him,  "Did I finish the race?"  He said ,"yes, you did."  "Then Yes, son, I won the race!!!"

It was a fun weekend!!!!

Too Long!!!

It has been way too long since I have been to this blog.  It was a fun way for me to journal and look back at our fun adventures.  However, life then became hectic and a bit overwhelming.  Some of it even just seemed like a big blur.  As we start this new year, I am going to try and get back into the groove. 

Today I  start simple!!!  We love minions at my house.  Mrs. Claus made some of the best hats around!!!  Here's hoping that everyone had a great Christmas season and may the New Year bring much fun and happiness!!!

What is Cardiac Arrest?!

This was Tuesday afternoon!!!! And then you have Wednesday morning!!!! I had no idea what Cardiac Arrest was..... I had no idea that Cardiac Arrest was different than a heart attack......I had no idea that an AED ( automated external defibrillator) was the only way to save my Dad's life.....I had no idea where to even find an AED. Here are some things that I have learned about Cardiac Arrest in the past month. I hope that someone can use this information and help to fight for and get trained in CPR, know where to find the AED's and how to use them.

Sudden cardiac arrest, or SCA, is the sudden unexpected loss of heart function, breathing and consciousness. SCA usually results from an abnormal heart rhythm, often as a result of underlying heart conditions. Unfortunately, many people do not realize they have underlying heart conditions-- until SCA occurs. In fact, about two-thirds of unexpected cardiac deaths occur without prior indication of heart disease.

SCA is not the same as a heart attack, which occurs when blood vessels in the heart get clogged, preventing blood flow to sections of heart muscle. A heart attack, however, can lead to SCA by triggering an abnormal heart rhythm. SCA may be compared to an electrical problem in the heart, in contrast to a heart attack, which is more of a plumbing problem.

Without immediate treatment, SCA is fatal. Effective treatment generally involves cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR), use of a defibrillator to shock the heart back to a normal rhythm, and advanced life support including drug therapy and, increasingly, therapeutic hypothermia. The quicker treatment is delivered and circulation is restored, the greater the chances for survival.

The average survival SCA survival rate is 6-7%. (Prehosp Emerg Care 1997; 1(1):45-57.)

Signs of cardiac arrest: It strikes suddenly and without warning.

Sudden loss of responsiveness

No response to tapping on shoulders

Does nothing when you ask if he is okay

No normal breathing

The victim does not take a normal breath when you tilt the head up

Check for at least five seconds

If these signs of cardiac arrest are present:

Call 9-1-1 for emergency medical services.

Sudden cardiac arrest (SCA) claims more than 380,000* lives per year, and is the leading cause of death in the United States. SCA can strike anyone, anytime.

*American Heart Association. Heart Disease and Stroke Statistics—2012 Update. Circulation: 15 Dec. 2011

These are the men and women that jumped into action and saved my Dad's life that Wednesday morning.  Without their quick action, we would not have had any more time with my Dad.  We will forever be grateful that they did not hesitate when Dad went down.  But rather jumped into action and used their training.  Thank you so very much!!!  You will always hold a very dear place in our hearts!!!

Casey is the one that actually used the AED on my Dad.  Julie, his lovely wife, was our ICU nurse and took great care of the family as well as my Dad.  Love to you all!!  In an effort to help cover medical expenses we are doing a fundraiser.  We are working with Celebrating Home.  They have some great products.  Just in time for Christmas.  Please take a look at the link.  50% of all proceeds will help out!!!

http://www.celebratinghome.com/fundraiser/brucej/OnlineFundraiserHome.aspx

While You Were Sleeping!

That is the title of my most favorite movie in the world.  However, on Oct 17, 2012 it became my reality.  I will never forget how I felt that morning.  I have already forgotten some of the things that happened that day, but when something like this happens it truly "rocks" your world and you never forget the way you felt.  Many miracles.... That is the phrase that describes those 2 weeks. I think back to those overwhelming moments, the highs and lows, and I am still amazed by what happened and how it happened.  Let me first share the story.  I will need a whole different post for the true miracles. 

But I feel like I need to tell the story from my perspective........Wednesday morning I was sleeping peacefully, when Elizabeth came into the room and told me mom needed me upstairs immediately.  I wondered why it couldn't wait until I was ready to wake up.......... but stumbled up the stairs anyway.  I could tell by the look on her face that whatever she was going to tell us was not good.  She told us that Dad had collapsed at work and was on his way to the ER.  The house became a flurry of activity.  Finding someone to watch the kids, putting on clothes, finding cell phones, gathering the siblings, finding the keys, and getting in the van became difficult tasks.  It was crazy and honestly, I cannot even tell you how it happened, but it happened very quickly. 

When we arrived at the hospital we were told we needed to go wait in the chapel for the doctor. For the record, their idea of a chapel was nothing more than a linen closet with a bunch of chairs.  I knew at that point that whatever they were going to tell us............ it was not going to be good news. You start to panic, you can feel your heart sinking, you try to think positive, you hold on to a belief that this is just a very bad dream. Next thing we know a case worker is in the room with us telling us that he is there to offer help,...... again not a good sign.  So we do the only thing that we know will bring us some peace as we contiue to wait and that is pray..... Finally, after what seems like days....... but has only been a short time, the ER doctor shows up.  In the least compassionate and least tactful way he spits out a bunch of stupid information. After he is done babbling my mother looks at him and asks him the only question we had wanted answered, "IS HE ALIVE?"  To which he curtly answers yes, and the informs us he had gone into cardiac arrest, died, and was currently in the Cath Lab. ( I do understand that ER doctors have a tough job, but I do believe that if he had ever been through that experience with his family he would have been more empathetic and kind)  As soon as they knew more .... we would know more.  No one knew how long he had been down or what had really happened that morning.  So at this point all we have are more questions.

The next person we see is Dr. Olsen. She is "wicked smart" (according to the nurses) .(I have been called wicked, but never wicked smart. :>)  She was in the cath lab with him. She told us that he had gone into cardiac arrest.  She and her team had gone in and done an angiogram to see what they could find and fix. His bypass that he had 16 years prior was no longer any good.  However, his heart had created its own bypass but had not suffered a heart attack.  They could fix nothing right then but talked about a pacemaker, defibullator and more bypass later.  They were impressed with his heart and what it was doing on its own.  He had not regained consciousness at any point after he went down.   But he had fought being intubated so she said that was a positive. They were putting him in a medically induced coma and taking his core temperature down.  They needed his heart to rest and by "freezing" him it would allow time for healing of the heart and brain.  They were unsure how long they would keep him in that coma (2 days at least), they were unsure if he would ever wake up, they were unsure if he woke up what he would be like, they were unsure what the future held.  But for the moment, he was stable in critical condition and as soon as they got him to ICU we could see him. 



So more waiting and it seemed like forever, but we finally permitted to go back.  When we walked in.......... there was my Dad.  So many machines, so many tubes, so many wires, so many sounds.  It was like I was walking right back into the NICU.  The fear of the unknown was right there staring me in the face again.  I was flooded with emotions and feelings that I had hidden and healed from........ or so I thought.  Lying on a bed with no signs of life was the man who was laughing with me about how no one was fighting over spending time with he , mom or I.  (Adam was getting ready to go back to Chicago and everyone wanted to hang with him, but we thought it was funny).  The man who 2 days prior was speaking at his Step-Father's funeral and, of course had us laughing through our tears about his "great" grandchildren.  The man that the day before was shaking leaves on the trees so my kids would have more leaves to play in and rake up.  The man that had just asked me what he could do for me, and when my only request was his famous fudge cake, without skipping a beat he was in the house making me one. 

How could this happen?  How could he go from being so vibrant and laughing the night before ....to  lying in a bed and possibly never wake up again?!?!?!  So many emotions, so much fear and uncertainty.  When you are in that moment you don't want him to not wake up, but you also don't want him to wake up if it is going to be horrible for him either.  So again more waiting........ The support and prayers were amazing.   They were the only things that got us through those scary moments.  I could not even tell you who all showed up that day, I know that everyone that did brought with them comfort, peace and strength.  Family that had been in town for the funeral were there, they all changed their flights to be close.  We cried together, told stories, laughed, cried some more and waited.  I will never forget when a dear friend of mine, that I had not seen in a couple of years, walked in....... she put her arms around me to give me a hug all I could do was sob.  Sob to a point that I wasn't sure I could breathe or even hold myself up. She just held me until I could breathe.



We were at the hospital all day. At 5:00 they kicked us out until 7:00 while they traded shifts.  We went back to the house to regroup and get a plan.  This was the point we decided we needed to take shifts.  The kids were confused and needed some normalcy.   We were tired and knew we all were going to need some time away from the hospital. The night shift was easier for me so that I could be home with the kids during the day. (Plus when Dad had his open heart surgery that is the shift I took, it was "our" time together, a precious time)  For days,  I paced, watched tv, paced,tried reading a book, and paced.  But those quiet moments are moments that no one can take away from me.  Whether I was watching and waiting, or helping dad with things he couldn't do for himself, talking to him, listening to him breathe, or walking through the ICU with him....... those are memories I will hold dear forever!!!  Adam stayed with me one night and in the early hours he looked at me and said,"this sucks______,"  I agreed with him.  But then Dad opened his eyes and smiled!!!  Between the tears, he said, "but this makes it all worth it."

When Dad finally starting waking up...... he decided he was going to let us know he wanted to be back with us.  He wanted us to know he was a fighter and he was not going to be slow about it.  He did not like the vent, or the feeding tube so he was going to get them out as soon as possible.  He started by merely turning his head to face whoever was talking in the room, then his eyes opened, he started answering yup and squeezing our hands.  (We could tell he was nervous because he would chew on his lips, I cannot imagine what it would be like to wake up, not know where you are, how you got there, and then to try and communicate only to find you can't.) As the days progressed so did Dad.  He would push a little too hard during the day and by night he would regress a little.   But he is a determined fighter and still continued to amaze everyone around him. 

One day, his heart started acting up again.  Doctor said we needed to get his pacemaker, defibrillator put in sooner rather than later.  However, because of his fractured ribs his lungs were struggling and he was beginning to get some fluid in them or so they thought.  As they started doing more testing they realized there was fluid outside of them. They had to go in and remove it.  As soon as they removed the fluid with a needle and hose (gross process) his lung re- inflated and surgery was scheduled for the next day.  After surgery, we were moved to a different floor and the grandkids could finally see their grandfather. And I got a pull- out bed.  Wow, best sleep in days!!!

 As we get farther away from the "event" more of the puzzle pieces are coming together.  There is still so much to write about and so much to say but I will end here for now.  I am going to write a post about the "miracles" that we were blessed enough to see.  They are amazing!

In the meantime:A lot of people have been asking how and what they can do to help Dad. Now that he is home from the ICU after going into Cardiac Arrest he faces new struggles. Right now we know he cannot return to work anytime soon and possibly never. As you can imagine, the medical bills are mounting and not having an income is stressful.  We want Dad to focus on healing!! An account has been set up at America First Credit Union and any donation no matter the amount will help ease that burden. We, as a family want to thank everyone for all of your prayers, meals, time, support and love!!!  Go Team Bruce!!!  Account #27339522/ P.O. Box 9199 , Odgen Utah 84409